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Wise Quotes - Poetry Prompt

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Wisdomology Posts:

Forgive & Forget

“Forgive others. Not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace.”
-Unknown

How often have all heard phrases like “forgive and forget,” or “life’s too short too short to hold a grudge” or “let bygones be bygones?”

The problem is that all of those things are much easier said than done.

To me forgiveness is important but not when being bestowed with the intention of just being a noble soul.

Forgiving someone should first and foremost make life easier for you.

Otherwise, you never know when old wounds might evoke strong emotions again.

If you forgive someone grudgingly, that grudge has a good chance of replacing or adding to the pain that the other person caused you.

And before you know it, the next time you have a rift with that person, things could actually end up worse.

On the other hand, if forgiving someone truly benefits you by taking a weight off of your shoulders and/or puting your mind at peace, it benefits everyone.

Life indeed is too short and repairing broken bonds can lead to a lot of positivity.

The importance of it however, lies in making sure that it’s genuine and heartfelt. You have to want to forgive in order to truly move on.

How do you feel about forgiveness? Do you forgive to please that person or please yourself? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Analyzing Advice

“Don’t make a permanent decision about a temporary emotion.”
-Unknown

I do it. You do it. Everyone does it. From time to time, we all need guidance and advice from our loved ones.

But the key to applying advice appropriately from anyone is properly attributing it to where it’s crucial.

One piece of advice is never apt for all adversities or for that matter, even all people facing the same adversity.

We are all unique and our situations are different. Our issues may be similar or even the same but the context of those issues will always be different.

For example, all couples fight and argue. But is divorce the solution for everyone? Of course not.

Some need better communication. Some need marriage counseling. Some may need a trial separation and others might have no choice but to divorce.

But it can only be determined after examing the context.

So never be afraid to ask for advice. Never hesitate to seek wisdom from others. But always take it in the right context. Think about your situation. Think about the other people involved. And then move forward.

Do regularly seek advice or give? Are you analytical or mor intuitive about it? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Hitting Rock Bottom

“Hitting rock bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.” 

-Michelle Parsons

Is there actually such a level as rock bottom? Or is it just an expression? 

By definition, hitting rock bottom is losing everything possible to the extent that ascension of any kind is ostensibly impossible. 

But the success stories that stem from people who “lost everything” and still rose to the top seem seem to be a little contradictory to that. 

If you manage to get back up, it means you probably had something left even if that something wasn’t tangible. 

At the risk of sounding morose, to me rock bottom would be dying. 

Death is the only finality which keeps you from getting back up. Even people who have been in a coma for years have miraculously woken up. 

That said, I can certainly understand the emotions that accompanying losing everything tangible. 

Regardless of how anyone personally defines rock bottom, it’s easy to feel that way when your back is against the wall. 

But if our outlook is modified just a bit, perhaps the seed of rising back up can be planted more easily. If we remind ourselves that no matter what happens, the end only comes with death, the motivation to bring change might be just a but more appealing. 

How do you perceive hitting rock bottom? Do you see it as losing materialistic things like your home, car, etc? Or is it more of a psychological feeling for you? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Betrayal

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.”

-Unknown

A conversation with a friend yesterday triggered a memory that was pretty traumatic when I was young.

People who I thought were good friends of mine were saying derogatory things about me behind my back.

Before I continue, let me admit that in my teenage years, I too have done that.

And like anybody else who does so, I was wrong.

When discussing mental health issues and specifically what trigger them, the common criteria alluded to is death, abuse, rape, etc.

And while all those issues are no doubt very pertinent and necessary to talk about, the subject of betrayal should also be included in those catagories.

Finding out that people who you thought loved you feel differently or act differently in spite of loving you can be very traumatizing.

In a lot of ways, two-faced people are the worst kind of people to deal with when dealing with mental illnesses, even if their intentions may not always be bad.

They may tell you something that they think will make you happy even though it’s not true. But what will be the outcome of that in the longrun?

I would urge family and friends of people with mental health issues as well as experts of the field like counsellors, psychologists and psychriatrists the following points:

  • Don’t say one thing to a person and another thing behind their backs unless there is a genuine possibility in it helping the person in the long run.
  • If you don’t like someone, don’t pretend to be their friend. You don’t have to be mean or directly say you don’t like them. But don’t pretend otherwise either. If it’s a colleague or a classmate that’s mandatory to colloborate with, just complete the task at hand and move on.
  • Always remember, walls have ears. Even when talking about someone in confidentiality, think about what you’re saying and why you’re saying it.

The tricky part of this topic is that it’s layered with a lot of ambiguity.

On paper, it’s easy to say don’t criticize someone behind their back. But sometimes, it’s not a matter of being two-faced.

You may actually love someone dearly but hate them at a particular moment, maybe after an argument or fight. In those instances venting your feelings to a third party is not a bad idea.

What’s essential is not to make it a habit. If you find yourself keeping multiple things you’d like to say to a person all the time, it’s time to re-evalute how honest you’re being with that individual as well as yourself.

Have you ever felt betrayed by a friend or family member? How did it make you feel? Join this discussion by commenting below.

Sacrifice

“There’s no such thing as a free lunch.”

-Traditional proverb

It’s often said that in any endeavor of life, you need to give something to get something.

In business seminars the most popular motto is “you have to spend money to make money.”

But sometimes I wonder, where do you set the limit? To what extent do you sacrifice things to achieve your dreams?

Personally, I feel you should keep “investing” in your dream until you come across two roadblocks:

  1. You’ve given 99% of what you have, be it money, be it time or anything else. That remaining 1% of ANYTHING should always be kept at all costs as it will serve as the springboard to bounce back. Retaining that last portion will also serve as a reminder that you’re working to get control of your dreams and not the other way around.
  2. You reach a point where you’ll have to sacrifice your principles. If you do indeed do that, your values will never be the same again no matter what happens afterwards. For example, there are cases of even sadistic murderers in prison who find go on to change for the better. But no amount of change can erase their crimes.

There is no denying that to attain victory in any endeavor, you have to give up time and energy and must be fully dedicated to the endeavor.

But the two ideologies alluded to should always be kept locked away and safe. You never know when you’ll need them at the final crossroads of life.

Have you made some big sacrifices to get where you are today? If so, do you feel it was worth it? Join this discussion by commenting below.

The Art of Listening

“Listening is an art that requires attention over self, over ego.”

-Dean Jackson

As someone diagnosed with clinical depression, a movement that has been very critical in shaping up my confidence is the #IDONTMIND movement started a couple of years back.

The #IDONTMIND movement encourages people dealing with a mental illness to speak up. With that, equally important is someone listening on the other end.

The importance of listening, both by people having a mental illness and by those trying to help, can never be over-emphasised.

All too often, listening is confused with hearing. The difference is that hearing is simply letting sound pass through your ears. It could be someone talking, water running or the sound of strong winds.

In any and all cases, the sounds pass through us without making much of an impact. Because of the lack of impact, responses, if any, are largely robotic.

It’s like when we were young and our parents would tell us to clean our room, finish our homework or anything else that seemed like a chore. We would hear them and even respond affirmatively but largely as a reflex just so that particular sound of nagging would stop.

When you listen, you not only hear, but you imbibe the sound in your mind.

In the case of communication, especially with someone with a mental illness, it is important to let the person know that you’re listening.

By the same token, it’s also important on our side to let the person who may be trying to help us know that we’re listening to their advice, regardless of whether we apply it or not.

When I first started therapy for depression, my counselor would listen to me which was a stark contrast to most of my friends and family who heard me but didn’t understand.

But I didn’t reciprocate the gesture. When my counselor gave me advice, I heard it but didn’t listen enough to imbibe what he was saying. Perhaps out of habit, I mistakenly put him in the catagory of everyone else.

This slowed down any progress on my end considerably. It was only when I understood that his advice stemmed from genuinely wanting to help me that I started feeling better.

I allude to the example of mental health communication because it seems the most relevant these days, particularly for this website.

But of course, the art of listening should never be limited to any specific area. It’s essential in all walks of life.

Do you feel like you’re a good listener? Do you feel people you communicate with on a daily basis listen to you? Share your thoughts by commenting below.

Losing a Loved One – Part 2

“If only are eyes saw souls instead of bodies, how different would our ideals of beauty be?”

-Unknown

In a previous post, I had talked about dealing with deaths of loved ones. To summarize that post, I had written about how to keep loving the person that’s gone. I would like to expand on that thought a litte more today.

I’ve always believed that souls do not die, only bodies do. And having loving memories of the deceased keeps them alive, spirutually.

That said, we do have to learn to accept that they will never be with us again physically and that can be difficult to cope with at times.

A few years ago, I lost my fiancee to a horrific tragedy. Everybody around me kept telling me to think of the good times with her and how much joy she brought in my life. In the long run, however, that proved to be somewhat of a conflict for me.

I would stare at her picture sometimes and reminisce for hours. The problem was coming back to reality because each time I did so, she was no longer there.

After speaking about this matter to several people, including a therapist who I am still in touch with till this day, I learned how to cope with it with embracing a specific ideology:

The intangible is as powerful and meaningful as the tangible. The lack of being able to touch something or someone does not devalue their presence in our lives.

Admittedly, this takes time to embrace or even believe it, especially if you’re not a particularly spiritual person.

But this doesn’t just apply spiritually. Due to technology, the world is getting smaller and smaller. We now interact with people all over the world who we may never see in person.

The Daily Wisdom Words website itself is potpourri of wonderful writers and poets most of whom have never interacted face to face. And yet, the result is beautiful.

If we learn to accept that a physical presence is not always necessary, it can give us solace both spiritually and practically.

How do you deal with the loss of a loved one? Do you miss their physical presence? Do you feel them around you spiritually? Give your opinions by commenting bellow.

Intuition/Sixth Sense

“Trust your hunches. They’re usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.”

-Dr. Joyce Brothers

Do you believe in intuition and/or in the sixth sense? Even the most overt skeptics of pyschics and spirituality believe that we all have a modicum of a sixth sense.

The scepticism stems from the knowledge or lack thereof of what exactly intuition is.

It’s a common misconception that intuitions require some sort of telekinesis power or are based on a realm outside of our tangible world. In reality, intuition is just relying on an hypothesis that ostensibly has no sound logic. In laymen’s terms, it’s a gut feeling. We don’t know why we have it but something inside of us urges us to follow it.

But in recent years, psychologists have argued that intuitions are not soley based without reason. The reasons for feeling them are there, they’re just stored at a level which may not be obvious at first.

Keeping that in mind, it’s much easier to understand that we all have some level of intuitions. Those that follow them and nurture them seem to be more accurate and after a certain level, people mistake that for a psychic ability.

In reality, it’s just a matter of learning to understands our minds and instincts better and there after, refining what we learn.

Have you ever had a gut feeling for something big in your life that proved to be accurate? Share that experience by commenting below.

 

The Purpose of Life

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.

-Richard Bach

Like a career, does a purpose in life end after a certain age?

According to Richard Bach and several poets and philosophers, it doesn’t.

I too am of the belief that there should be something to look forward to everyday, even in our old age.

I do believe that we are all brought in this world for a reason.

What I don’t always agree with is the simplicity of the ideology.

Many people come to a standstill in their lives after going through something significant, believing, that their purpose is fulfilled.

According to me, it may not just be one purpose. Maybe there’s one particular endeavor you’re meant to go through in your earlier years and perhaps another one in the latter portion of your life.

Many believe that we’re meant to navigate through one big journey in life. But perhaps, it’s multiple journeys.

There are many such examples in which life ostensibly came to an end, only to be challenged again with a different perspective.

Scientist Stephen Hawking continued to do research and develop theories years after his ALS diagnosis and far exceeded the average lifespan of someone diagnosed with ALS.

Actor Christopher Reeve once stated that his speaking engagements and running the Christopher Reeve Foundation kept him far busier, despite being confined to a wheelchair, than any acting job he ever had.

Both Hawking and Reeve continued to be active in some ways, literally until their last days.

Do we come into this world for a specific purpose? I believe so. But overtime, that purpose can change, multiply or give birth to several new purposes.

Do you believe you’ve found your purpose in life? Or do you tend to go more with the flow?

Express your thoughts by commenting below.

Addiction

“If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime.”

-Benjamin Alire Saenz

What is addiction? Medically, it’s defined as a reward to the neurological part of your body that eventually becomes a dependency.

In layman’s terms, it’s a want that eventually becomes a need.

In previous posts, I have written about two key components that are significant factors when fighting an addiction. Mindfulness and self-respect.

Allow me to expand on how the two specifically relate to addiction.

Mindfulness helps admitting you have a problem which is universally recognized as the first step to conquer any addiction.

Self-respect takes you one step forward and instill a desire to want to change.

To take that train of thought even farther, according to the Stanton Peele Addiction website, the desire to change comes from establishing certain values to your life which will in turn, provide the motivation to take action.

If you value your children, you try beat the addiction for them.

If you value your career, you try to beat the addiction in fear that you will no longer be competent and lucid to perform any task.

If you value your significant other, you try to beat the addiction to keep them close to you.

Obviously, these are all just preliminary steps. A road to recovery can be relatively simple or a task and a half, depending on the circumstances and the individual combating the addiction.

But most experts in this area of study agree that these steps provide a pretty solid springboard if completed properly.

To sum up, admit you have a problem. Then think about your values and who and what you’re hurting with the addiction and how you can resolve that.

Have you ever battled an addiction? Are you close to someone is currently doing so? Comment about it below.

Bad Days

“Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.”

-Maya Angelou

Regardless of age, sex or race, we’ve all been through this process:

Either you sleep through your alarm or were tossing and turning all night or kept having nightmares. Either way, you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and the day just gets worse from there.

Bad days are one aspect of life but at the time of their occurrence, they feel like the worse and only aspect. Once a bad day starts, light at the end of the tunnel seems non-existent.

But of course, that’s not true. At some point, it’ll all be over.

Over the years, I’ve talked to various counselors, psychiatrists and friends for some tips.

Collectively, here’s what I learned:

  • If you’re having a bad day that seems impossible to deal with, first find a quiet corner. If at home, it’s relatively simple. If at a public place, like at work, excuse yourself to get a drink of water or to grab a snack.
  • Once you’re alone, take anywhere from 15 to 20 deep breaths. The longer you hold the breaths, the more you’ll be internally relaxed.
  • Carry around a subliminal or affirmation recording. There was a time this would have been difficult but with smart devices, it should be no problem. Listen to that recording at least for 10 to 15 minutes. Ideally, it should say something opposite of what you’re feeling such as “Today is the best day of your life.”
  • Remind yourself that at some point, darkness has to leave and the sun always comes out. This has been the system since the beginning of time and will never change no matter what.

Of course, none of the methods above are guaranteed to work as everyone thinks and reacts differently in various situations.

What they are most likely to do, however, is calm down all your senses to help you clear your mind so you’re free to think thoughts you wish to.

Do you have a specific method(s) on how you deal with bad days? Share it below in the comments section.

 

 

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"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."

Audrey Hepburn