Why would I choose the word, “walls” as my daily wisdom word today? First of all, I am not referring to the walls in a home or office building. I am referring to “myself and others” who put up walls to protect themselves from getting hurt. Out of curiosity, let us take a look at the meaning of walls in our Webster Dictionary.
Walls-1. A continuous vertical brick or stone structure that encloses or divides an area of land. 2. Confine or restrict someone or something in a restricted or sealed place.
Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Walls-Structures of protection we put up inside ourselves, to protect ourselves from getting hurt. Generally, these walls are from previous memories with other relationships, or a current one, and putting up these “Walls” becomes a habit to protect yourself.
Walls are built out of necessity within ourselves. We have been hutt in the past, and want to change the person’s ability from being able to hurt us, to ourselves being protected from being hurt. Building walls, starts as young as early childhood if you had an abusive one. For example, if You had a parent(s) that screamed and yelled at you as a child, you walk into your teen years, and adulthood with a wall already in place to protect yourself from someone yelling at you.
Sadly, if we were raised in an abusive environment, we tend, subconsciously to look for a relationship that will create this dysfunction in our current lives if we don’t get professional help (counseling-group therapy), to stop us from doing this. You might be asking yourself, because your identifying with this post, what is so bad about putting up a protective wall? The problem with putting up protective walls around our hearts and emotions, is we cannot allow ourselves to love fully. We simply don’t feel safe. Another issue? We will move towards what we are comfortable with, (comfort zone) in the above example, our childhood environment, and feel attracted towards people that most emulate our role models from childhood
I think you now understand why walls and barriers are not healthy in any relationship, and if you have to put them up, there are two ways this may fall: The first way is that putting up the wall or barrier is habit, and your with someone healthy, but due to your past, you still feel the need to protect yourself from getting hurt. The accountability with this issue lies on your shoulders. The second way we put up walls in what I mentioned above. As a child, we spent our time around someone that caused great emotional distress with our own emotions, teaching us how to love unhealthily. Walls need to be dealt with, and there are different ways we can address them. The following, are suggestions for you if you find yourself building walls within a love relationship. By the way, this can also apply to friendships, love relationships, even co-workers.
1. First, for you to fix an issue, you first have to acknowledge it. You need to acknowledge that your putting up barriers to protect yourself, and figure out why. What is helpful with this, is journaling.
2. talk to a trusted ally or friend. These people are “key” in your life, because you TRUST them and have not put up a wall between yourself and them and you feel safe. See if they can help you diagnose when, and how you put up walls by observing you when your around them, and they see how you interact with the person who your putting up walls with.
3. Once you have established what your doing by putting up barriers to protect yourself, its time to see a professional. I am referring in this case, a psychologist. The difference between a Counselor, LSW and a Psychologist, and Psychiatrist, is that a Psychiatrist is also a licensed Medical Doctor and can prescribe medication. A counselor, has a little less education than a psychologist, and a Psychologist or counselor is ideal if you don’t need medication.
4. Some people just are not ready to take the “big step” of seeing someone professionally. This is when I say, it is better to help yourself, in some way, better than no way at all. Walls and barriers can be addressed in a group as well, where you hear other people talk that have been/are going through the same things your experiencing.
Thanks so much for reading about walls today. I realize this is different than our usual daily wisdom word, but feel the information in this could be very helpful. Why do I know this? Experience, unfortunately.
Have a beautiful and blessed day! Samantha Leboeuf/ JOIN DAILY WISDOM WORDS TODAY FOR JUST $10. TAKE PART IN THE INTERACTIVE PROMPTS WE HAVE, AND ENJOY YOURSELF, EXPAND YOUR WRITING SKILLS, AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE KNOWLEDGE AVAILABLE ON THIS SITE. I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW ABOUT A NEW PROMPT WE ARE STARTING!! NEEL, (WISDOMOLOGY PROMPT) AND MYSELF, (DAILY WISDOM WORDS PROMPTS WILL BEGIN FOUR DAYS PER WEEK HOSTING WHAT IS CALLED “WISE ADVICE”. NEITHER ONE OF US ARE LICENSED TO DO COUNSELING OR PSYCHOLOGISTS OR PSYCHIATRISTS. HOWEVER, WE FEEL WE CAN GIVE YOU A SECOND OPINION/NEW PERSPECTIVE TO VIEW YOUR PROBLEM IN. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED AS TO WHEN THIS STARTS.
Thanks so much,