Why do we rationalize our behaviors and actions?
Rationalization happens when we need to justify our own actions, or those actions of another. October is: NATIONAL DOMESTIC ABUSE AWARENESS MONTH. As you might have noticed, my poetry and my daily wisdom words can and do relate to abuse in some way.
Let us look at the meaning of rationalization in our Webster Dictionary.
Rationalization-The action of attempting to explain or justify behavior or an attitude with logical reasons, even if they are not appropriate.
Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Rationalization-those things we tell ourselves are okay, even when we know they are not, such as justifying someone’s behavior.
Our last daily wisdom word was justification. Justification is slightly different from rationalisation. Rationalisation is more obvious, and justification is an excuse well disguised and sometimes with merit.
Why do we feel the need to rationalize? We feel the need to rationalize or make excuses as a defense mechanism to justify behavior. Rationalization is also known as a formal fallacy. A formal fallacy is a flaw in the structure of a deductive argument which renders the argument valid. (Martin Boudry). Women or men in abusive relationships become masters at rationalization. At the end of the day, however, the fallacy of their argument can never be validated. Rationalization is a common defense mechanism for the abuser more than the abused.
Why do we put up with abusive relationships and rationalization? The answer is more simple than you might think. We have a low self esteem to begin with when we meet individuals like this which is why we don’t see through them to begin with. I believe that with each time we allow the justifications, and rationalizations of the abuser keep us in this abusive relationship, it continually chips away at any self-worth and self -esteem we have left.
As mentioned in my previous post on justification, then the “cyclical role” of the abuser also comes into the picture. We believe them or at least tell ourselves we do, when we listen to their excuses and justifications. We hear things like this: 1. It will never happen again . (If this is our second or third time around with the abusers cyclical behavior, we know logically, this is not true. We remain in denial if we accept this excuse. 2. I will get help or go to anger management classes-If you are the abused, and you see change, and work on the abuser’s end to get help and come out of denial on his or her end, than consider grace and forgiveness verses abuse. The person you love is sick. 1 out of 4 women in the United States are either actively being abused or have been abused or stalked or engaged in violence with their partner. 3. I found myself losing my temper because, I didn’t sleep well or I had a bad day. (logical excuses) and finally, 4. If “YOU” had done things the way I asked you to, we would never be in this situation. (You have finally crossed over the line with your abuser. He is now blaming you, (control) for being abused by him.
Please, if you find yourself needing help, get help. Here are some options you can make to take baby steps towards a plan to exit the situation if your not strong enough to leave your abusive situation.
1. Educate yourself- https://www.thehotline.org
2. Pack a to go bag
3. talk to someone you feel is safe
Thanks so much for reading about rationalization today. Please scroll down beneath this post and leave a comment, quote or poem about rationalization. I would appreciate the comment, and it would be healthy for you to start making that change necessary to live your life in a normal, happy manner, or for others to read about a healthy relationship your in.
Please, if you need help, sign up for daily wisdom words today, become a member, and schedule an anonymous appointment to speak to Neel or myself. We appreciate you and would love to have you be a part of our family.
other helpful daily wisdom words: https://www.dailywisdomwords.com/identity/