How does one arrive at becoming a perfectionist? Is perfectionism a genetic trait or is it some kind of expectation set with someone depending on how they are raised?
Before we go any further, let us take a look at the Webster Dictionary for the definition of perfectionism.
Perfectionists-A person who refuses to accept any standard below perfect.
Daily Wisdom Word Definition of Perfectionism-A person with expectations from themselves and others to be better than is humanly possible. As human beings we cannot be perfect; therefore expecting perfection from yourself or another is not realistic.
Is perfectionism genetic or is it “learned” behavior? The research I did on this question suggests that it could be a little of both. Perfectionism is best recognized for me, growing up with my older sister. She was clearly a perfectionist. I honestly thought, she was “perfect”. She dressed perfectly, her closet was in perfect order, her physical appearance perfect, and she had perfect etiquette.
I always admired my sister a great deal, and respected her in an idealistic manner. Not only was she my older sister, she was absolutely perfect, or so it seemed. What I didn’t realize was just how difficult be in perfect with herself was. She had high standards for other people, but she had absolutely unrealistic, impossible expectations inside herself she struggled with. What I didn’t realize is what a toll this expectation placed on me and was a barrier with us to be close. I honestly didn’t think there was anything I could say that would add to or enhance what I assumed she already knew.
What made my sister this way, and myself, and younger sister and brother so different? This is when I think that perfectionism is genetic. How did she end up so different than me and my brother, and younger sister, so different? I got a glimpse into her and this answer as time progressed. Yes, part of it could be she was born with it, but because she was the oldest one of the bunch, my mother, having been divorced twice, expected her to be a role model for all of us.
My mother also expected her to take responsibility for our overall care. This caused my sister to feel she had to set that perfect example for us, and yet, we turned out nothing like that. I am referring to my brother, younger sister and myself. My point is that our lifestyle required more out of my sister than normal because my mother expected it, but had the same expectations been placed on me, I would not have been able to meet these overall expectations regardless of this overall expectations if she had expected it from me. She knew this, and was truly grateful to have my older sister to help out.
I wish I was able to answer the question I opened up with regarding whether or not perfectionism was genetic or learned behavior, but the experts don’t seem to definitively answer this question either. Thanks so much for reading about our daily wisdom word, perfectionism, God bless you all. Daily Wisdom Words post today on perfectionism.
Daily Wisdom Words is a Poet/Author/Writer’s Website that is interactive, with many things to participate in. For instance, we have Neel’s Wisdomology Page, A quotes page, with a poem included, and quote, which comes out all weekdays. You can comment and “join the discussion”, beneath this post. We also have “DWW Picture Poetry available to you, Mon-Sat. which shows a picture of something cool, and two different words to insert within a poem that the picture and words inspire you to write, where you can get creative with your Poetry Juices. There is also Daily Wisdom Words Blog, (What you just read) inspiring you to think, and “join the discussion “,at the end of each post, we publish every Monday/Wednesday/Friday, which we encourage you to participate with and include your thoughts and ideas..We also have Book Reviews for Authors that are inexpensive we not only post on this website in two different areas, but link to Amazon as well. Our Book Reviews, are our signature with DWW, due to their pricing and thoroughness. We not only write a book review for you, but market it, for free on our website, linking it to Amazon and posting on facebook and reddit. There is also Shirley’s “Wise Reviews” of Poets, Present and Past, Published every Saturday about Poets of today, which are educational and interesting. Finally, on Saturdays, and Sundays, We have Monday’s Music Prompt, which your provided two cool songs with and the lyrics of these songs and these are fun and creative for you to participate beneath the post in the join the Discussion page. We also give you a full page to design and create your Public Profile, where you can add your own personal links to recent books you’ve published, show a picture of yourself, and include other important links on and message, publicly or privately with the members, after they accept your friend request and you accept theirs. This is a great way to network you books, meet other authors and poets and communicate with them.
Joining Daily Wisdom Words is just $10 for a LIFETIME membership, and includes usage of all of the above things on our website including our online store, where we will also offer what is called “Custom Poetry” written for someone you describes to us over the telephone where we create some lovely poetry for you to give as a unique gift to someone you know. There is also a “community Webpage,” called community poetry which you can use to publish your own poetry or entry of any kind including book review. Finally, we are currently in the process of developing a page we are going to call, “Wise Advice from Neel and Samantha, Where you will be able to submit your issue you need advice on, and we will give you our opinion of what the best solution is for your problem, and publish this anonymously, or publish your name with it, depending on what you feel most comfortable with, and are given advice about a current problem you are having, to the best of our ability. You may request advice from both of us or just one of us. The choice is yours, if your to see it publicly or privately for the public to view, or simply a private email returned to you with your answer. Should you like the advice your given, we also will want to share the question/answer we have come up with for you on Facebook and Reddit.
Thanks so much,